When you hear the phrase, “survival of the fittest,” can you feel the energy of struggle embedded into it? It makes me want to swing back the other way and focus on what is fun!
Humans are wired for pleasure, as well as survival. At our core, we are pleasure seeking beings. I remember seeing this painting from a different era in which adults from an entire community were playing, alongside the kids, in a field. What happened to all the fun? Nicole Daedone says that women in the western world have what she calls “Pleasure Deficit Disorder”. We are lacking some very basic enjoyment that ideally would accompany everything we are doing. Instead, so many women are running around getting a lot accomplished, but depleted in vitamin “P” (pleasure).
When we are low on vitamin P, we WILL accept substitutes. Synthetic pleasure comes in many forms, such as eating sugar as a replacement for true sweetness in life, reading or watching movies about people having fun, so that we can live vicariously through them, or spending hours on Facebook, watching videos and attempting to ‘connect’, only to walk away feeling more isolated and depleted. Screw that!
As women who are fully empowered, it’s our right and duty to soak up as much real and sacred pleasure as we can. It’s like fuel that lights our flame. Others can light their flame from us as well, so it’s not just something good for us, it’s good for everyone around us. You know that saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” It’s true, as women we can set the tone and expect others to harmonize around us. It’s been said that our children (or those we care about) can only be as happy as we are, no more. By no longer accepting substitutes and making pleasure a priority, we’re returning ourselves and everyone we interact with to our fundamental roots.
So how do we get to back to core pleasure and resolve this cultural epidemic? We start by noticing our preferences. It’s truly that simple. We’ve strayed from being in touch with our fundamental desires, whether it’s for fresh air when it’s stuffy inside, for sunshine when you’ve been inside all day, or for warmth when you realize you’re shivering cold. How do we get back in touch with what we want?
In our Self-Full Living™ classes, one homework assignment is to set a timer to go off once an hour during waking hours. Each time it sounds, students ask themselves “what would I prefer?” And then, if it’s within their ability to give it to themselves, they do. The main thing here is for them to stop for a moment to recognize their preferences and begin to accommodate them. To give themselves more sweetness in life.
Play with Preferences
Now, it’s up to you to do your part. I’m counting on you. The world is counting on you. We need a pleasure infusion, stat! So right now, before you finish this post, take a moment to set your timer to go off once each hour… go ahead, I’ll wait while you do it.
When the timer goes off:
- Ask yourself “What would I prefer?”
- Accommodate yourself, if possible. If not, no worries, at least you stopped to notice!
Lest you hate me in the morning, remember to turn the timer off before you go to sleep each night.
I’d love to hear from you! Use the comments below to let me know you’ve set your timer and any other thoughts that have occurred to you on this topic.
(Photo Credits: deleted.scenes)