RUNNING ON EMPTY?
When you’re pushing through life, despite feeling disconnected from your dreams and desires, it can feel like a struggle to accomplish the most basic tasks. The little joys we might have experienced in the past are nowhere to be found when going through the motions just to get things done. Being out of touch with your inner divinity and your heart’s desires makes room for numbness to creep in. Soon, you’ve fallen into the cycle of giving everything you have to everyone else, leaving nothing for you at the end of the day. It feels like you’re slogging your way through life, giving it everything you’ve got, but making no headway, and with no relief in sight.
So how do you break this cycle of feeling drained and giving everything you have away?
I lived much of my life in this state of depletion. I also spent years understanding how I created it, how I could manage it, and eventually how I could transcend it. I also noticed that so many women around me had similar experiences. Despite the fact that we were sensitive, big-hearted women who were bright, capable, go-getters, we continually found ourselves in this cycle of depletion, running on empty.
What I discovered was how to start living with more depth, connection, and meaning and how to cultivate the skills that a sensitive, driven woman needs to be able to navigate our modern world while staying true to herself in every facet of life.
Imagine feeling connected on a moment to moment basis with your dreams, inner wisdom, and desires. Feeling alive and vibrant, not only filled with potential and optimism but directing your focus to bring your heart’s desires to fruition. Imagine letting go of what drains and no longer serves you and shifting your time and energy toward investing in what nourishes you and brings you joy. Consciously making empowered choices based on your preferences, your unique conditions for thriving, and informed by your body’s inner wisdom. Imagine integrating this way of living into your daily life, relationships and worldview.
To shift from selfless to Self-Full Living™, there are a number of skills to cultivate. All of them are within your reach, they are innate to us when we are tuned into our inner wisdom, but so many of us have been socialized away from our essence. Many of them you already possess command over, but they’re directed outward, rather than inward. With a slight tweak to how you direct your focus, you’ll be able to leverage them beautifully.
The first Self-Full Living™ skill will help you start the process of stripping away the layers of conditioning and getting back to your truth:
Self-Full™ Skill #1: Recognize what commitments or responsibilities drain vs. fuel you
The Energy Matrix is your tool for exploring this skill, for discovering what commitments, responsibilities or tasks are draining you or fueling you. You’ll find a link do download your own version as well as complete instructions for using it to discover opportunities for freeing up energy. Download your copy and I’ll see you on the other side!
AFTER YOU DOWNLOAD IT, LET ME WALK YOU THROUGH IT
If you’d prefer to listen to this as you follow along in the book or workbook, you can use the following audio recording.
STEP 1: Document the Commitments
Create a list of your current commitments and responsibilities and put them on each line. Remember to include the situations that you called out in earlier exercises or any situations that are both a source of tension and/or joy for you. You’ll want to hone in on situations in which you habitually say ‘yes,’ but wish you had said ‘no,’ or where you silently comply with something you don’t want.
Be aware that even when filling your schedule with things that you love and projects that excite you, it’s possible to over-commit and slip into overwhelm. Once you’ve completed the Energy Matrix, you’ll have more clarity about what is giving you energy and what is not. Once you’ve experienced your Sabbatical from “Yes,” then I suspect you’ll crave that spaciousness and have a different perspective when making future commitments. From there, you can make decisions that are energizing and include more space and time for you to continually recharge.
STOP HERE and complete your list.
STEP 2: Rate the Commitments
Take a moment. Put your hands over your heart and breathe several deep breaths.
Recall a time of love or gratitude and feel what it was like to be there. Feel it in this moment. Let that feeling flow over your entire body and as you breathe, let it expand until it surrounds the room, this space, this area, this region, this country, this planet. Then open your eyes and continue through the next steps.
- Take the first item on your list. Get into the feeling state of actually meeting the commitment in this moment.
- Rate your item in the matrix based on the scales on the following page.
- Repeat the above 2 steps for each item on your list until you have completed the above process for all of them.
- Add up your answers for each commitment and record in the total column.
|NOTE: If you’re struggling with the Energy Matrix or something doesn’t feel quite “on” here for you, then you might be at a point in life where you don’t have a lot of external responsibilities and don’t feel overcommitted, or you interpret your situation differently. For example, you might realize that instead of seeing it as taking a sabbatical from saying “yes” to others, it might be more productive for you to take a sabbatical from saying “no” to yourself. If this is so, take a slightly different approach to the Energy Matrix and the sabbatical. Rather than filling it with external commitments and responsibilities, you’ll be listing the things you are desiring in your life, but that you’re saying “no” to. Think of it as your heart of heart’s wish list. In your case, you’ll modify your Sabbatical from “Yes” to focus on a Sabbatical from “No.” It’s an opportunity to practice for 30 days saying “Yes” to yourself. It will have the same result, only your entry point for getting there is different. Your list would include things, situations, desires, etc. in which you are constantly saying ‘no’ to but deeply desire in your life. For example, you might have a deep desire to take an art class, but keep putting it off for a myriad of reasons, or it might be a different career path you want to explore, or a travel experience, etc. If you’ve flipped the sabbatical, begin thinking about how you can practice saying ‘yes’ to yourself more and use this as your guide to complete the following sections.|
STEP 3: Determine the Direction
After completing the matrix, you’ll fill out the “Direction” column. Take the results of what you entered for each situation into meditation for guidance. Ask your heart to show you which commitments you will keep and which commitments you will release (even temporarily). Get into the feeling state of each commitment.
- First imagine keeping it and what that feels like. “K”
- Next imagine releasing it and what that feels like. “R”
- Choose the one that feels most expansive
- Sometimes neither “K” nor “R” feel right and in those cases, enter “M” for modify and we’ll review that during the next section.
- Enter “K” for keep, “R” for release, or “M” for modify in the last column “Direction.”
Congratulations! You’ve completed the basics for the sabbatical and are ready to brainstorm options for the rows where you entered “R” or “M.” These items form the core of what you’ll be taking a rest from during your own version of the Sabbatical from “Yes.”
If you’re tempted to power through and continue to the next section, I’d encourage you to take at least a small break to stretch and get some fresh air. You’ve just completed a major chunk of work here and the next part will require a fresh perspective.
STEP 4: Brainstorming Options
Review each “M” and “R” item on your list. Some will require a little brainstorming for creative options of how to best handle the situation. It might take time to gain clarity, but can be easier by recruiting the help of creative friends or members of our online community.
It’s worth noting that if you go into this with an open mind, being open to new possibilities of how you can get your needs met as well as the other person or organization, then you will be primed to see options that you haven’t considered before or even thought existed.
Follow these brainstorming guidelines:
- Gather at least 25 ideas of how you can adjust these commitments or situations so that they will be more enjoyable for you and give you more energy. Some will only require you to make a choice. Others might include additional support from another person or people.
- Accept all options and suggestions. Collect all of the ideas that are presented to you without judging or evaluating, regardless of how odd or other worldly they might seem.
- Review all of the suggestions and identify the one that resonates most with you and seems to best fit the situation.
As you continue to make decisions that are in tune with your inner wisdom and nourish you, you’re going to build up a balance of choices that return energy to you, rather than drain you. That soulful, tuned in experience of honoring your inner wisdom, and making wise and compassionate choices that nourish you is what I call exquisite self-care. Let’s dig into that a bit so we can discover what it looks like for you. … (more on page 83 of Sabbatical from “Yes”)
You need a break and you're the only one who can make it happen.
But when you decide to shift the focus of your deep compassion, (the compassion you typically reserve for others), back on to yourself, your entire being exhales and you can finally relax.
When you soften your self-talk and give yourself a rest from taking care of everyone and everything else, you get back in touch with your own inner wisdom, dreams and desires.
As a bright, sensitive, driven woman who’s reconnected with her core, you can make choices that include yourself as a priority and cultivate deeper self-trust through exquisite self-care. Rather than depleting you, your life will fill you up and leave you feeling nourished. And the value of this works goes far beyond yourself. When you’re aligned with who you really are, anything you give yourself, you also give to humanity.
It’s not selfish, it’s self-full.
“My Sabbatical changed my life! Your class changed my life! This book will definitely change lives!”Bonnie O'Boyle
INVEST 20 MINUTES A DAY FOR 30 DAYS
TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR INNER WISDOM AND EMERGE AS A CLEARER, MORE CONFIDENT AND ENERGIZED YOU.
"Christi Daniels has all the right answers when it comes to teaching women how to take care of themselves. this book is a bright light beckoning to every woman who has lost herself by putting others people’s needs before her own. Christi shows women the way to gracefully and lovingly bring themselves back to their true and full selves. A must read for women of all ages everywhere."Kim Hodous
“Christi has an amazing ability to research and synthesize years of information gathering it down to one life-changing course – and present it in a fun way. This book should be every woman’s ‘Bible.’ “Amanda Shertzer
Join the Tribe
Connect with people who are living this work. Gather together, ask questions, receive and give support.
Download the Workbook
Should you need a little more elbow room to write, you can download and print the workbook with all of the exercises.
Watch videos, listen to interviews, read articles and get inspired as you integrate this new approach to life. The material is always evolving and you’ll be able to access new insights and information as it becomes available.
“Thank you Christi for taking the time to write this beautiful book. My teachings in the past had brought me to a place where I had literally blocked “time off” for me on my physical calendar. HOWEVER – of late – completely overriding it!!! Taking a sabbatical from yes obviously takes much constant practice and commitment. I re-commit today 10/12/2015 | 7:29 am. The reason? I’m better, much brighter-eyed, energized and fluid in all things I desire and love when I do. I’m actually & naturally able to do more in this state. Xoxo”Theresa King-Thompson
“Hi Christi – just wanted to let you know how much I’m enjoying Sabbatical from Yes. Page 79 definitely resonated with me, and my Sabbatical will be from saying “No” to myself. I’m so glad you included that angle, because it’s the perspective that 100% applies to me… (I’ve) done that off & on over the years….but aha! – always have slid back into saying “No” to myself for one reason or another.I’m also implementing some of the other strategies, with my goal being consistent, continuous practice. I’ve done lots of this kind of work before, but my challenge – as you have called me to, thank you!!! – is to keep it up.
Instead of being like the person who keeps going on diet after diet only to regain the weight later, my intention now is to make a lifestyle decision that’s not just about making temporary adjustments, but rather an ongoing, lifelong shift to getting back in touch with myself and staying present & attentive to that long-neglected, dear soul that dwells inside here somewhere.
I know how much heart and soul you put into this book, this process and this work, so I just wanted to send a note of appreciation to say thank you for sharing your wisdom and your guidance in this way. It’s come across my path at a wonderful time, and I’m ever so grateful for it.
Thank you Christi; you are an amazing, kindhearted, brave & beautiful human being!!! Love & hugs”K.W. Ontario, Canada